A RETURNING...

Note:  This is a longer post...if you don't get through the words, at least go to the end and check out the video from Zack Arias--it's one of the more important contributions to the photography world that has been made IMHO.

"There's Still Hope"--one of my favorite street photography images

What's funny is that I like to think that I am different--I always have.



That was certainly a way that I was defined by others when I was younger, as sort of a classic "odd man out" kind of kid. Then it became a way that I actually defined myself, taking more control over my identity in high school where I celebrated (and made some funny efforts to enhance) this nonconformity--punk music, dark clothes, disdain for football players,  etc.  But, in this world of professional photography, I find that I am very much "the same".  Not necessarily in terms of work quality or style...there's a lot of variation there, which I am proud of.  No, it is more in the sense of how I approach this profession and all of the "work" that is needed to support it.


I have truly become a professional photographer over the past year--better equipment, more experience, true business structure, WPPI and other trainings, expanding my network.  Yes, it still is considered to be "half-time", when I take my counseling private practice work into account, but realistically the photography is taking up most of mental energy at the moment and is where my passion is right now.  I've found that the many details necessary to make an art form into a profession can be overwhelming.  Mix that with a personal life that has had many changes and one has the makings for an epic defeat.  However, these challenges can be dealt with and ultimately I am finding that this is what is the SAME within my professional community.  Other creatives that I know (and even those famous ones that I only read about), all have similar challenges.  Many of them face the same specters of self-doubt, feeling "stuck", easily procrastinating at times, and generally wondering if all of this work will result in feeling satisfied, not to mention secure.


I've appreciated these revelations lately as I often feel very alone in these struggles. Being around other professionals who seem successful, confident, happy, and financially viable has been both useful and difficult when my tendency towards comparison shows up.  It is easy to lose sight of the reality that we all struggle with challenges everyday and that we all face them...or not.  And, it isn't always easy to reveal these struggles...even to the people who are close.  Because in doing so, the struggle often becomes more real and tangible; and, now that it is "seen", you have to do something about it.  Vulnerability is such an interesting part of the human condition as it creates both risk and security at the same time.  Yet, it's necessary for the connection we all need.  


This is where I am at in these recent moments...the struggle, the small victories. These victories being easily swept aside in the storm of new challenges, problems, and moments of despair.  Desires to succeed, dreams and visions of my life--and the frustration of obstacles, fears, and the truth about not really having much control over anything... except my response to these challenges.  And this is primarily my point that I am making here.  I guess it is simply a re-affirmation of what makes us all the same.  And that is... challenges will happen and all we can do is choose the manner in which they are met.  Each moment, every one of us is doing the best that we can in that moment.  That doesn't mean that we can't do better in some other moment, and that knowledge is what can make all the difference.  I'm thankful for the photographers and other creatives here in Bend that I am connected to, the amazing people I see running small businesses and being multi-faceted in their work and lives.  Because I see and hear about their challenges and how they meet them.  I realize they speak to those same places within myself.  And I am reminded that I am not all that different.


So, the point of all this introspection?  Honestly, I'm not sure.  It's a process (to use that famous therapist saying) that I intellectually understand, but to truly "know" it, I simply have to keep moving forward through it.  I've neglected the blog aspect of my business for a long time, even though it is said that  blogging is a key part of branding and client connection.  I have difficulty sitting down and being mindful at times--a necessary state of being when writing anything worthwhile.  And when I do sit and write, it rarely is something simple or entertaining for others.  I've read alot of things lately about how photographers AREN'T blogging as much as they SHOULD.  So, perhaps this new entry will be the start of some new burst of consistency?  Some way that I can still be different?  Maybe.  I'll try.  I have some ideas for sure.  For now, it's back to work.  Thanks for sticking around...

Here's something relevant from one of the photographers that I most admire, Zack Arias.  This video really moved me the first time I saw it and I recently went back to it...It has reminded me of some important things.  I hope that whoever is reading this might find it as useful as I do.