"EYE" ON THE PRIZE

"Keep your eyes on the prize"....That old phrase  essentially captures where I am at right now and is becoming an odd but fitting mantra as I try to stay focused.  A few weeks ago I found out that my day job is going to be disappearing in a few months.  Well, here's some thoughts in response to that life altering-event...



Some of you may recall that I am a trained psychotherapist and for the past five years I have worked at a treatment program here in Bend as Clinical Director.  Most of my days (and many nights) were spent managing an incredible chaotic jumble of tasks, emotions, crises, and the unpredictability of young adults and their families dealing with mental health and addiction issues...yet, it all seemed to continuously have an undercurrent of safety and comfort born of familiarity--"this is what I know how to do and I do it well".  Stability was strangely found within a many-layered puzzle of competency, career, service to others, joy and tragedy, stress, challenges overcome, and exposure to the best and worst of human experience.   


And, so, after a wild vacation I return to the news that my crazy world of chaos mixed with security is coming to an end as the program is being closed due to corporate restructuring.   The question that flares into my spinning head is "now what do I do?"


That is what the next few months will be about...breathing, grieving, preparing, working hard, making some dreams into reality, and stumbling into new dreams and realities that haven't even occurred to me yet...but likely are out there waiting...one door closes and I am trying to decide which to open next.   Hopefully, there will be several that I can get through that will eventually lead to good things.  The joy of rediscovery is beginning to assert itself and is a great shield against the anxiety and "logistics" concerns...I'd like to thank Chase Jarvis for this little reminder from his blog the other day...perfect timing man.  (The Gin and Tonics are on me when we finally meet..)


One good thing that has come of this is a determination to create and maintain space for myself, my health, my friends, relationship, and community.  That feels really exciting and as I reconnect with that I realize that it is a place of self that I have been neglecting.


It's funny...always been too busy with this job to figure out the way to fully embrace the "business" of photographer, along with the passion....looks as though I may get my chance.  Didn't ask to be pushed off a cliff, but hey...this breeze feels pretty good. 


Stay tuned...life after these important messages.